3 Words That Will Ruin Your Life

I’m doing this new thing with my vocabulary.
I’m cutting words out.

So far I have three:

  • Can’t
  • Should
  • Shouldn’t

It all started at my job. I am a dance coach at a studio that doubles as a cheer gym. Anytime one of our athletes says that they “can’t” do something, we make every single person on the floor do 10 push-ups.
Because saying you “can’t” is setting yourself up for failure before you even try.
It’s really amazing how far a little bit of positivity can take you.

Eventually I added “should” and “shouldn’t” when I realized how pervasive their concepts were in advertisement.

I have a whole elaborate theory about human nature and marketing but in a nut shell, many advertisements are only successful because they make their interpolated audience feel like they are lacking and that the product that is being sold with fulfill them.
So wrong.

Not all advertisements use the words should and shouldn’t, but the concept is there. 

In day to day life, I noticed myself thinking that I “should be” a better dancer – which left me feeling hopeless because I was simultaneously tell myself that I wasn’t good enough. That I just missed the mark.
And telling myself that I “Shouldn’t be so lazy” didn’t help me find a solution. It left me dwelling in the negative.

If you are looking to make an improvement or break a bad habit – stop looking down and beating yourself up. Look up, brainstorm, talk to people and think of ways to actually make a change. Don’t hate on yourself for being human. 

Cutting these words out of my vocabulary actually made me think about my situation more deeply. Making a conscious effort to re-phrase sentences or ideas I had actually made me a little bit more positive in a very realistic and motivating way.

In the end, it came down to acceptance. There is so much freedom in acceptance.
There is so much peace in being okay with being just the way you are.
You are enough – always have been, always will be.
Don’t let these words tell you otherwise.
The challenge is in the journey to finding it for yourself. Kind of like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” ― Heath L. Buckmaster

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