I Watched Him Watch Me

I watched him watch me
As I walked I could see his reflection in glass
I could see him as he stared.
Beauty, they said.
Beauty is a curse.
Vanity they said.
Attention Whore
They hate me for it.
I hate myself too
Paranoid they call me.
Paranoid I call myself
But I watched him watch me
Through the glass
As I walked.

 This poem was inspired by the older man that watched me walk about of a Walmart late one Sunday night, and then developed by the many lies I’ve been told through out my life. Things I’ve heard, that convinced me I was just crazy, over-reacting, or “being a girl” when I complained of disrespect and objectification from men on the street. For some reason I was blamed for their inappropriateness, and chastised for my feelings because of THEIR actions. I’ve been called these names because of my outgoing personality, and petite features. Things made by God that I grew to hate because others grabbed hold of my young mind and told me I should- because the attention I received was not what I wanted and it seemed to come to me even when I wasn’t asking for it. I blamed myself for the way I was created but this is a lie.

This is a call to all people, men and women, to support each other… to believe a victim, and offer support for them.  And this is a reminder to me, I know what I see, I know what I feel, I know what is right and wrong, what is inappropriate and what is disrespect. I know that it’s not my fault.