3 Words That Will Ruin Your Life

I’m doing this new thing with my vocabulary.
I’m cutting words out.

So far I have three:

  • Can’t
  • Should
  • Shouldn’t

It all started at my job. I am a dance coach at a studio that doubles as a cheer gym. Anytime one of our athletes says that they “can’t” do something, we make every single person on the floor do 10 push-ups.
Because saying you “can’t” is setting yourself up for failure before you even try.
It’s really amazing how far a little bit of positivity can take you.

Eventually I added “should” and “shouldn’t” when I realized how pervasive their concepts were in advertisement.

I have a whole elaborate theory about human nature and marketing but in a nut shell, many advertisements are only successful because they make their interpolated audience feel like they are lacking and that the product that is being sold with fulfill them.
So wrong.

Not all advertisements use the words should and shouldn’t, but the concept is there. 

In day to day life, I noticed myself thinking that I “should be” a better dancer – which left me feeling hopeless because I was simultaneously tell myself that I wasn’t good enough. That I just missed the mark.
And telling myself that I “Shouldn’t be so lazy” didn’t help me find a solution. It left me dwelling in the negative.

If you are looking to make an improvement or break a bad habit – stop looking down and beating yourself up. Look up, brainstorm, talk to people and think of ways to actually make a change. Don’t hate on yourself for being human. 

Cutting these words out of my vocabulary actually made me think about my situation more deeply. Making a conscious effort to re-phrase sentences or ideas I had actually made me a little bit more positive in a very realistic and motivating way.

In the end, it came down to acceptance. There is so much freedom in acceptance.
There is so much peace in being okay with being just the way you are.
You are enough – always have been, always will be.
Don’t let these words tell you otherwise.
The challenge is in the journey to finding it for yourself. Kind of like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” ― Heath L. Buckmaster

Let’s put “Human” back into “Humanity”

Photo By: LT Edwards Photography
Chowing down on a protein bar in this photo…

“To put ‘human’ back into humanity”

This is unofficially my new slogan – the guidelines by which my purpose/life is executed.

I’m involved/interested in a lot of random things – and my website is tangible proof that I have a very hard time organizing my life and making up my mind about what I like to do. I enjoy cooking/nutrition, nature, healing, psychology, dancing, modeling, social activism, business, teaching/mentoring, and a lot more.

But finally, a few nights ago,  I sat down and tried to figure out what the common string is that ties all of my work and interests together. And I came to the conclusion that I just have this strong desire to restore the vulnerable and soft part of the world.

The purpose of my slogan is that everything I do is aimed to this one goal. It keeps me focused and moving in a positive life fulfilling direction. I see the ‘human’ part of the equation as the brokenness or weakness. The part of ourselves that we are ashamed of, that we keep in the dark. The parts of us that feel things, create things and imagine things. I was to restore this – it’s the part of ourselves that help make us who we are and we live in an environment that tells us that we shouldn’t feel pain, that imagination and creativity isn’t valuable enough to be paid for, that brokenness is a sign of weakness. We are told lie after lie in our culture and I want to end it.

I am a communication major – and last semester I took a class that focused on the cause and effect of communication in the modern world – is VERY mediated. The more I discovered about how our communication works against us and the underlying cause of a lot of issues we have, the more I saw what can be done to change it. I have to believe that we have the power to change our reality for the better because of the very fact that we have control over the way we chose to communicate with each other and our surroundings.

And as a Com major I know that everything I say, do, feel, not say, not do, ignore, accept, (basically my very existence) COMMUNICATES SOMETHING. So I want to make sure that I communicate a positive message.

Take a second to think about what being Human means for you. In what ways your personal investment in your own humanity make the world a better place?

“Nothing is more creative… nor destructive… than a brilliant mind with a purpose.”

– Dan Brown